What International Women’s Day helped me realise…

Happy International Women’s Day! And in honour, here is the definition of ‘feminism’ that I believe in:

“A person who believes in the social, political and economic equality of the sexes.” – Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie.

So today I’ve realised something.

Recently, I’ve been thinking a little bit (or a big bit..) negatively about some of the women in my life.  Not my good friends or family, of course, because where would I be without them?  But I’ve been thinking that some of the women who I’m less close with – but still have to see and talk to regularly – just aren’t for me.

When I talk to said ladies, my mind is full of negativity.  I feel uncomfortable because I’m forced to be nice, and when I leave I think “I can’t believe they said that!  Why would she do that?” and it almost bothers me that they don’t know how ridiculous I think that they are.

I don’t say anything to them.  Partly to be nice, partly to keep peace and partly because they’re not really harming anyone.  I already detach myself from their comments by not actively agreeing with anything I don’t actually agree with, but playing the pacifist leaves me frustrated.  I’m a strong-minded person and I don’t like people who are rude, unsupportive or down-right nasty.  I don’t like women who go out of their way to harm other people, to harm other women – directly or indirectly.

But I also want to be more accepting.  The women that I know will have their own issues to deal with that make them act the way that they do, some that I know about, some that I don’t.  When a women is critical and viscous about other women, I believe that it often comes from a place of insecurity, and that’s difficult to deal with.  So I need to remember this when I’m getting annoyed.

So, this International Women’s Day, I’ve decided that I’m going to work on being more understanding and supportive instead of judgemental when I hear things that I don’t like. And instead of time spent playing back frustrating encounters with these people in my mind so many times that they’ve got their own box office, I’m going to try and put all that energy into working on myself and being the kind of person that I can be proud of.

I hope all you lovely ladies (and laddies) have learned a lot too, and spent the day celebrating each other!


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